Videogames

The Regalia Type-D Is So Stupid, It’s Great

So. So. So. You may or may not have heard, Final Fantasy XV gets a patch 1.12 update today and it includes the ability to go off-roading with the Regalia Type-D. Does it sound like a weird episode for Pimp My Ride? Maybe. Should you upgrade for funsies? Hell, yes.

Regalia Type-D

Players need to go to Hammerhead and talk to Cindy. And being a bright girl that she is, she tells you she got this idea and can’t wait to try it out on your car.

Basically, she's asking if she can pimp your ride.
Basically, she’s asking if she can pimp your ride.

Obviously, you agree, no questions asked. I mean, what can possibly go wrong by upgrading the car?

Ta-da! Look at your new ride!
Ta-da! Look at your new ride!

After some tinkering and tweaking around, voila! Behold in glory at your new monster truck! It looks unbelievably stupid, it’s great. I honestly have no words to describe how absurd everything came to be, but hey, I know for a fact players will enjoy this absurdity to the fullest and in doing so, execute the weirdest riding shit ever. Me included, naturally.

(And oh my god, I just noticed Ignis and Cindy staring at the sky. What on earth are they looking at? Does he see a cloud spelling out ‘I’ve come up with a new recipeh!’ We will never know.)

Baby Steps: How to Ride Your Car Off-Road to Doooooom!
Baby Steps: How to Ride Your Car Off-Road to Doooooom!

I guess the weird part of this message is reading the car can jump. So, after I become acquainted with the car, it’s time to do some test runs across Eos. Being a sadistic asshole that I currently am, I aim to cause as much damage to the car as possible because CURIOSITY and SCIENCE!

Hey, don’t look at me weirdly; I know you’ll do the same, you sick bastards.

They See Me Rollin’

Time to go off-roadinggg!
Time to go off-roadinggg!

Once on the field, I had a field day (ha!) with driving around and testing out the car’s capabilities. I cannot tell you how weird it feels to drive this monster truck. I expected the car to feel heavy and harder to control, but it feels weightless. I’m pointing this out because I’m also playing L.A. Noire. Different car models in L.A. Noire supplies different car weights which dictates whether or not players will have an easier or harder time in controlling their ‘borrowed’ vehicle. For example, when I borrow/steal a sports car, I easily zip down L.A. in a breeze. Makes sense, right? On the other hand, driving a truck/ambulance controls differently from a normal-sized or normal weight vehicle. The truck/ambulance was heavier and a little cumbersome to control, but it felt real.

For the Regalia Type-D, there is no weight differentiation between this model or the normal Regalia. I easily cruised across jagged terrain as if I drove on balanced pavement. This is weird to me.

(Hell, what do I know about cars since I don’t drive. Haw-haw!)

Another thing I discovered with the car is its awkward, mind-bending physics. It’s difficult to put into words what I’ve experienced so far, but I can tell you that this car barely adheres to basic physic principles. Luckily, no rag doll physics… yet. Praise the Sun!

Burn, Baby, Burn!

See the lower left corner of the screen? It displays the amount of gas the car has along with the car’s durability. This is very important.

Fuel & Stuff
Fuel & Stuff

The car’s durability decreases according to cause and effect. I didn’t know this at the time, but I went around Eos ramming into everything I can find. I’m talking about trees, rocks, houses, other cars, and monsters. I aimed to push the limits of the truck–no, car–to determine if it’ll be able to climb over stuff. It can… Sorta. I wish I kept footage of me being a dipshit, running my car over another vehicle. The other car was fine, though. Not a single scratch! And possibly the most hilarious moment to experience is to hear Noctis be jubilant about it while Prompto screams his head off. Classic asshole move.

As for my car, I soon realized it had ugly scratches and cracked windows. Oops. So, in very simple terms:

  • Cause: Ram the car into everything.
  • Effect: Durability decreases.

Furthermore, the fuel doesn’t swiftly deplete, which is fantastic. I filled up the tank once and it cost 500 Gil.

Monster Killer

I wanted to know if my car can kill monsters. It can! Though, it took a bit of time killing it, but eh, FOR SCIENCE!

I chose this poor sod out in the field and rammed the car into it. The more I rammed the car into the monster, the quicker the car’s durability depleted. It was all for the greater good, IMHO. Also, there are strange physics at work again. I don’t think heavy monsters are supposed to do that, don’t you agree? This is so stupid, it’s great, and it kills me inside.

I should sign off now. Tomorrow, I’ll aim to do more weird things with the Regalia Type-D and hope I can trash the car to the fullest extent of my abilities! Whooooooooooo!

I’m a writer, food lover, travel seeker, novice photographer, and videogamer.

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